LosAngelyne, Gurl, you a downtrodden ho in denial. But that’s why we love you. You’re like the awkward developed tween girl from Calabasas named McKenna who sports a bit too much gold jewelry, makes out with all the boys and talks about how she’s too good for any of them.
In total denial of its impoverished masses, Los Angeles has taken bold steps to wage its war on illegal street vendors. When not sending out scores of douchebag cops to confiscate the propane tanks and greased cookie sheets of little harmless abuelitas, the City is busy installing a barrage of signs in English pointing out that the street sale of goods is illegal. A recent New York Times article revisits Ground Zero of our city’s noble crusade against the poor in two very different neighborhoods. In Venice last month, the fight over vendor stalls along Ocean Front Walk prompted the passage of an ordinance that is set to exclude the sale of all non-utilitarian goods. ’Non-utilitarian’, you ask? That would roughly encompass all household wares, clothing and food, like your favorite Rastafarian key chains and precious bacon-wrapped hot dogs. But don’t worry! You’ll still be able to purchase all the painted Dia de los Muertos skulls you can’t get enough of, because frankly, they’re useless.
Police have taken a breather in MacArthur Park since the controversial fatal shooting of a Guatemalan street vendor in 2009 that resulted in riots. There is now a stepped-up effort to legitimize many of the street vendors with a city-licensed weekend market, although that’s been a tough sell thus far to a community that commonly shares a one-bedroom apartment with six to eight other people. With that said, most vendors would rather take the chance of receiving a $1,000 fine or possible jail time, as they really don’t have many other options.